• attractive boy: hi i'm famous
• attractive boy: hi i'm gay
• attractive boy: hi i'm a douchebag
• attractive boy: hi i'm twice your age
• attractive boy: hi i have a girlfriend
• attractive boy: hi i don't like you back
• attractive boy: hi i live on the other side of the planet
• attractive boy: hi i don't know that you exist
• attractive boy: hi i'm a fictional character
• attractive boy: hi i'm your oppa
• attractive boy: hi i'm going to your country for a concert
• attractive boy: hi you can't afford the tickets

(Source: youwantsomepearlsmuthafuckaaa, via heyfunniest)

(Source: shall-this-url-be-mine, via iamyourlucifer)

• Teacher: What do ovaries do?
• Me: Explode at the sight of attractive men
• Teacher: Wat
• Class: Wat
• Me: ...I mean make eggs

the-yixing:

who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got 643 photos of your husband saved to your computer　

(Source: petermorkandmindy, via wtfblooda)

Bitch please.

• Girl 1: My boyfriend looks best in skinny jeans.
• Girl 2: My boyfriend looks best in leather jacket.
• Me: My boyfriend looks best in 1080P HD.

• computer: whhhhhhhhHHHHHRHRRRRRRRRRRR
• me: shh it's ok

THE BURIED LIFE: 20 Things I Should Have Known at 20.

theburiedlife:

1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. From bank fees to interest rates to miracle diets, people who are not educated are easier to get money from and easier to lead. Educate yourself as much as possible for wealth, independence, and happiness.

2. Do not have faith in institutions to…

Talking about Spratly's.

• Sir Louie: Ah, so you're pure Chinese? How many years have you stayed here?
• Cancan: Around 10.
• Sir Louie: Ah, so anong ginagawa mo dito, spy?

• normal people: :-)
• voldemort: :)